Three is a Magic Number
by BellaMed
Summary: Drabbles, AH. After the first month of trying for a baby, I had been late by several days. Edward urged me not to get too excited, but I didn't listen — I was so sure that I was pregnant. I could just feel it. A girl knows.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.**

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I looked at the app on my phone. Four days to go until the red dot. I didn't hold much hope though; I was getting sadly used to my unwanted period coming every month, like an uninvited guest at a party.

After the first month of trying, I had been late by several days. Edward urged me not to get too excited, but I didn't listen — I was so _sure_ that I was pregnant. I could just feel it. A girl knows.

Only, I was wrong.

Now it'd been almost a year, with only disappointment to show for it.

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**A/N: Mostly unplanned drabbles. I'm normally a fluff sort of girl but I can't promise just yet that there won't be a little heartache along the way. M-rated because ... well, they're trying for a baby here!**


	2. Chapter 2

No wait, that wasn't entirely true. Trying to conceive had definitely been good for our marriage. It had meant sex: lots of it. Edward certainly wasn't complaining. And with all that practice, we'd become more passionate, more in touch with each other's needs. Our sex life was better than ever.

Surprising, really. I'd imagined it would get routine quickly, and we'd be tired of having to try all the time. It reminded me of what Edward had said after the very first time we slept together: "I'll never tire of making love to you." I guess it had been true.


	3. Chapter 3

Edward was quite relaxed about the whole thing, so far. Which was a good thing; one of us needed to be. He was just enjoying the ride (quite literally). I relied on him to keep me grounded, to stop my fall whenever I edged too close to despair.

The Doctor had told us to keep trying for another year before we needed to think about having any tests done. We were both young, and had no obvious health problems; he didn't think there should be any cause for concern. "Just keep trying," he said.

Not what I wanted to hear.


	4. Chapter 4

I could remember a few years back, not even knowing if I wanted children or not. Now _that_ Bella felt like a stranger. I'm not quite sure how I'd ended up like this. Gradually, this urge had developed in me, until it had become stronger than anything I'd ever known.

It was quickly overtaking my life, and was all I could think about. Every time I saw a woman pushing a pram, out at the shops, I got a pang of longing. Now seeing couples with a little kid — or worst of all, a pregnant woman — made me physically ache.

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**A/N: that's the last chapter, for today. Thank you for reading, I'd love to know what you think! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed or put me on alert! :) So glad to see some familiar names there as well as the new ones.**

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It was hard, keeping it all inside, unspoken. I didn't want to tell friends or relatives yet that we were trying to start a family. I did want to talk to somebody other than Edward about it, but I feared I'd be constantly fielding questions about how it was going, or once it had been some time with no news, knowing that people were starting to tread carefully in conversations.

Finally, I had the idea of joining a forum on the web for other prospective Mums. For the first time, I'd have people to share my hopes and frustrations with.


	6. Chapter 6

I'd been confiding in Edward less lately, for fear of making him worry, or of damaging our relationship. So when I'd found the MamaNet forum a week ago, it was a welcome relief.

On Sunday afternoon, I was nestled in the corner of the sofa, browsing it again on my laptop. I didn't notice Edward come up behind me until he put his hands on my shoulders and then kissed my neck.

"TTC for 6 months, still waiting for a BFP," Edward read out loud. "What's all that mean?"

"Trying to Conceive ... and Big Fat Positive," I answered, quickly.

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**A/N: A very similar popular site exists in the UK **— **I'm sure other countries have some too. :) They use lots of acronyms that would confuse Edward. On a similar note, let me know if any of my Brit speak confuses you. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

He laughed.

I blushed slightly, worried that Edward would think it was silly. "It's a forum … I wanted to talk to some other women who are trying to get pregnant."

"That's great, love," he said, rubbing my shoulders gently.

"Really?" I was relieved he thought so.

"You know you can talk to me, right? About _anything_. But if this helps, I don't have a problem with it. I do my best, but I can't know how you must be feeling as well as another woman could."

I swung around to give him a kiss. He never stopped amazing me.

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**A/N: that's all for today. :) *waves***


	8. Chapter 8

"Want a drink?"

"Yes please, a coffee would be great." I smiled.

Edward disappeared to the kitchen, and I heard him put the kettle on.

He returned with the drinks, sat down beside me and put his feet up. He was soon absorbed in a football match on the TV. I was glad to have him beside me and yet still giving me space by not watching closely what I did on the forum.

I'd written a private message to another user who apparently lived nearby. I hesitated for a moment and then clicked on the 'Send' button.


	9. Chapter 9

_Message to:_ Swan13

_From:_ Rosie-girl

Hi, Bella. Welcome to MamaNet. My name's Rose. No, don't worry, of course I was glad to hear from you! Are you in Westhampton town too, or just nearby? You're the second local girl I've found on here, actually!

So you're only 24? Wow, I'm a bit older than you ... 35. The clock's ticking a bit louder for me these days. :(

_Message to:_ Rosie

_From:_ Swan13

Hi there, Rose. Thanks for replying! :) Yes, I live in Westhampton too! Who's the other girl? Maybe you can introduce me sometime. It's a small world.

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**A/N: just to clarify, Swan is Bella's maiden-name but she's still using it as a nickname on the net :) She's Bella Cullen now.**


	10. Chapter 10

Several messages later, Rose and I arranged a time to meet on the chatroom.

Swan13: Hi Rose! It's nice to finally "talk" to you here.

RosieH: You too! Let me introduce you to Leah. Our fellow local!

LC91: Hi, Bella, right?

Swan13: Yes, hello! So, you have you two met in real life, then?

RosieH: Yeah, a few times. Actually we're going for coffee on Saturday, fancy coming to join us?

Swan13: Err maybe … I'll check if I'm doing anything. :)

RosieH: I understand, can't be too careful on the Net.

LC91: We aren't psychos … I promise. ;)


	11. Chapter 11

I was worried about Edward's reaction, but I had to tell him.

"I've been talking to two local girls on the forum … actually, I was thinking about meeting up with them."

"Really? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I just need to share this baby stuff with someone, I can't keep on like this."

"Well I suppose … if you're careful … "

"Stranger danger. Yeah, I know, Edward." I said, feigning annoyance, though I loved his protective side, really. "I'll make sure I tell you where I'm going, and pick somewhere public."


	12. Chapter 12

I'd never met anyone off the Internet before.

Maybe a year ago, this would've seemed crazy, but now, I was willing to embrace anything that might help. I wanted to meet women who knew how I was feeling and maybe get a fresh perspective. I hoped that sharing stories would help me to get on with my life and stay optimistic, rather than making me obsess even more ...

_Message to:_ RosieC

_From:_ Swan13

Hi again Rose. Sorry for the hesitation earlier ... you know what? Let's do Saturday! Here's my phone number: 077819104872. Can I get yours? Where and when?


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: there's been some mention in reviews that you hope Bella gets a good support system. I feel like you ladies are my own support system, with my writing! Thank you! :)**

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_Message to:_ Swan13

_From:_ RoseC

"Good on you Bella, it'll be nice to see you there. Drinks are on me! How about at 11 am at the Bean Coffee Co. on the High Street? Unless you have a better idea … not much choice in this poky little town. :("

I added her number as a new contact into my phone: Rose C, since I didn't know her surname yet. Maybe that should have worried me? But who knew, maybe I was about to meet my new best friend.

It was only Tuesday, and the weekend couldn't come soon enough.


	14. Chapter 14

By Thursday night, my good mood had all but melted. I was feeling a bit under the weather. Nothing I could pinpoint; I was just tired and slightly on edge. _Maybe I was getting the flu. _But, I couldn't push aside the knowledge that my period was due any day. I tried to get on with things, tidying up the kitchen after the meal I'd cooked for us. I went to bed early and slept well.

But next morning, I had a familiar dull ache in my stomach.

When I went to the bathroom, sure enough, my period had come.


	15. Chapter 15

Seeing the tiny trace of blood, I didn't react immediately … I just felt numb. But by the time I was in the hot shower, my belly still sore with the physical proof of the news that I was not pregnant, _again_, I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I wept uncontrollably, feeling empty and helpless.

I thought some of the same thoughts I swear I think every month. _Women get such a fucking raw deal. Was my crushing disappointment not enough for Mother Nature? No, better give her terrible cramps and mess to deal with for good measure._


	16. Chapter 16

Edward had already left for work, so I couldn't even tell him. I felt so lonely. I wished he could just hold me now.

The cramps were starting to spread to my legs and back now, so I went into the bedroom wrapped in a towel and grabbed some extra-power pain relief tablets from the bedside table. Then I opened the bottom drawer where I kept sanitary pads. But the long packet beside them caught my eye instead. I hurled it angrily across the room. Why the _fuck_ had that seemed a good place to keep the pregnancy test kit?


	17. Chapter 17

Realising my fist was clenched so tightly that my knuckle was hurting, I eased off my grip on the handle to my mug of coffee and put it down. I wasn't hungry, but I forced down some buttered toast and tried to think calming thoughts.

I was running late for work, but there was no way I could drive feeling like this.

I worked at the local library. It was usually quiet, as you'd expect, and I felt at home surrounded by books. Something of a refuge for me, then.

But the day ahead of me was rather less appealing.

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**A/N: Poor Bella. Hopefully things will pick up for her soon?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry for the slower update, thanks for being so patient :)**

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On Friday mornings, we ran a Parent and Toddler book group at the library.

The thought of sitting amongst those little kids and their lucky mums was almost too much to bear.

I contemplated taking a sickie, but that wasn't really my style. Besides, Jessica Stanley would probably have to stand in for me if I didn't go. She was a nice girl, but kids were outside of her comfort zone, and she tended to ramble when she was nervous. She'd probably end up talking the poor mums to death.

I sighed and picked up the keys to my truck.


	19. Chapter 19

The kids were oh-so-cute.

I still had an ache in my belly as we began: an unpleasant combination of physical cramps and disappointment, but I did my best to act cheerful.

Today's theme was nursery rhymes: one of the mums and I acted them out using glove puppets and teddies. Then the kids did their best to repeat the lines. Seeing their innocent joy helped to lift my spirits slightly; it was impossible not to be affected by them. But it also reinforced just why I wanted a baby of my own so badly, so that ache wasn't going anywhere.


	20. Chapter 20

Once the kids and mums had been ushered out, relative peace descended back on the library for the rest of the morning. Just a few pensioners asking for today's newspapers, and someone wanting help composing their CV on the computer.

Lunchtime came. I went into the kitchen, meaning to contact Edward, wanting to hear his voice and let him know the news. But I had a sudden impulse to try someone else for a change. Maybe I could save Edward from worrying about me for a few more hours.

Finding the contact I wanted on my phone, I hit dial.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Sorry for the slower than usual update; thanks for your patience. :)**

* * *

A rather posh but friendly-sounding woman answered after a few rings.

"Hello, Rose Chambers here. Wait … is that _Bella_?"

"Yes … er, hi, Rose. I hope you don't mind me calling."

The normally buttoned-up Brit in me made me hesitate. I was about to tell an almost complete stranger about my menstrual cycle. But … nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

"I know we're not meeting up 'til tomorrow, but, well … my period came this morning, and I just had to sit with a load of other people's kids, so I needed to speak to _someone_."

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**A/N: I used RoseC as her online nickname, but Rosalie's not a Cullen (nor a Hale).**


	22. Chapter 22

"Aww, Bella, I'm so sorry to hear it. But you can talk to me whenever you need to, it's fine. Listen … I'm at work, but it's my lunch break now. Are you in town?"

"Yeah, I am."

"How about we get lunch somewhere?"

"Really? Well … I suppose I've got time still," I said, hesitantly.

"Come on! It'll do you good. Is that a yes?"

Smiling at her clear enthusiasm, I bit the bullet and agreed.

"Well okay, then, yes! Where shall we go?"

"The Portland Arms does a nice pub lunch."

"Okay, I can be there in five minutes."


	23. Chapter 23

After tapping out a last-minute text to Edward so that someone knew where I was, I grabbed my handbag and coat and then left work. Westhampton was a small town, so the library wasn't far from the pub where we were meeting.

The High Street was quite busy. People had umbrellas up because it was drizzling with rain. I pulled my coat tightly around myself, trying to keep out the bitterly cold wind.

The miserable weather dampened the small bit of positivity I'd felt after speaking to Rose. Doubt was creeping in ... I really hoped this wasn't a stupid idea.


	24. Chapter 24

I pushed open the heavy, wooden door of the Portland Arms. It'd been some time since I'd last been here. My colleagues and I used to go to out for lunch most Fridays — sometimes to this pub — but for some reason we hadn't done that in a few months; I resolved to bring it up with Angela when I got back. We needed some winter cheer.

Inside, it was warm and cosy-looking, a respite from the weather. The tables and chairs were made of mismatched, worn wood but this gave the place character, set it apart from soulless pub chains.


	25. Chapter 25

I looked around, partly to find an empty table in the busy pub. But mostly to try and spot Rose. I knew that she was blonde, but I hadn't seen her photo.

Shit. Maybe I'd have to phone her mobile — rather than embarrassing myself by going up to a random woman and asking.

But then, I spotted a woman with shoulder-length, wavy blonde hair, sat on a wooden bench in the corner. She was alone, and everyone else seemed to be be in couples or groups, so it must have been her.

I took a deep breath and approached her.


	26. Chapter 26

I hesitated. What if this wasn't Rose? Maybe she hadn't even arrived yet. I could feel myself blushing just at the thought of going up to the wrong person.

_Relax, Bella, breathe, _I told myself._ It's not a big deal. You'll just walk off_ —_ no harm done._

"Rose?" I asked.

The woman turned and gave me a friendly smile. She was very pretty, all blonde hair and blue eyes. I wouldn't have guessed she was 35.

"Yes!" She stood up and took me by surprise by giving me a hug. "You must be Bella! It's so good to finally meet you."


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: sorry for the slow update :( I really appreciate your patience if you came back.**

* * *

Just like during our phone conversation, Rose's friendly, relaxed attitude put me at ease and helped to dissipate some of my nerves.

"Thanks for coming," I said, arranging my coat and sitting down opposite her.

"Not a problem. I needed a change of scene, anyway," she replied.

"Where is it that you work?" Despite hardly knowing her, I didn't feel rude asking; she made me feel that I could. We were here to get to know one another, anyway.

"I'm an assistant at a legal firm." She laughed. "Well … more like a glorified receptionist, actually."


	28. Chapter 28

We ordered food: a hamburger for Rose and a baked potato for me.

I described my morning full of toddlers at the library.

"God, I can't _imagine_ how that must've felt. I have enough trouble seeing one child some days, let alone a room full of them." The expression on her face let me know that she'd experienced the very same pain herself, and her sympathy felt more real because of it.

The relief of finally being able to talk to someone in my situation was overpowering.


	29. Chapter 29

Our food and drinks arrived.

"One baked potato with cheese, and a grapefruit juice," the waitress said, placing them in front of me.

"Thanks."

"Grapefruit juice?" Rose asked, after the waitress had gone. "Is that a health ... fertility thing?"

"Yeah," I admitted, sheepishly. "It's probably silly, but I read about how it can thin … um, the cervical fluid, and that can help your chances of getting pregnant."

"Oh, I knew I'd heard something about it. How long have you been doing that?"

"Only a few weeks. I suppose I'd probably try anything once if I thought it'd help."


	30. Chapter 30

"I've been on special diets, taken evening primrose oil supplements, charted my basal temperature ..." I started reeling off all the health kicks and tricks I'd tried.

"Eating seafood for extra zinc, sex on alternate days … doing a cycling action with your legs in the air afterwards," Rose added, rolling her eyes and moving her fists round in differently timed circles to illustrate her point.

I looked around, a little embarrassed, but then we both dissolved in giggles.

"Sometimes, you just _have_ to laugh about it. It's either that or cry," she said. "I've done my share of both."

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**A/N: I'll try to update soon. :) Thanks for reading!**


	31. Chapter 31

Laughing and sharing stories over food had helped to break the ice.

"Tell me, Bella, how long have you been trying for a baby? You and ..."

"Edward. My husband's name is Edward. And it's been about a year," I answered.

"You said your period came this morning?" She said it gently, and I appreciated that.

I just nodded, knowing my voice would be shaking if I spoke.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." The term of endearment felt kind rather than grating, despite coming from a near stranger. "I know exactly how heartbreaking it can be."


	32. Chapter 32

"It feels like it's never going to happen, right? I've been through it too." There was raw emotion in Rose's voice, and I wondered what lay behind that — if there was more to it than she'd given away so far.

"I was optimistic at the beginning, but now I'm just getting tired of getting my hopes up, only for nothing to happen every time," I said. "And I know that a year's not even that long, but it's so hard … I don't know how much longer I can take it."

At least I wasn't alone anymore.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Sorry I've been gone a while... :)**

* * *

Rose put her arm around me. "I really wish I could promise you that it's all going to work out … but I can't do that, I know myself that there are no guarantees."

"My doctor said I need to keep trying and just relax, and it'll happen," I said.

She snorted. "God, I get that a lot from friends with babies already, but _doctors_ should know better! It's just not that simple. Not for some of us, anyway."

"I suppose he's right that stressing won't help ..."

"But that's easier said than done."

"Yeah, exactly."

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**A/N: the next few chapters are pre-written, so they'll stay at 100 words. B****ut after that, I've decided to become a bit freer with the word limit, so they'll be drabbleish, but slightly longer.**


	34. Chapter 34

I felt bad, realising just how one-sided the conversation had been so far. I didn't want to pry too much, but I supposed we were here together for the same reason, so she shouldn't have minded talking about it.

"So, how about you, Rose? You're married too?" I said, spotting her wedding ring.

"Yes … his name's Royce," she said. I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but her voice seemed sad. Perhaps they weren't happily married, like Edward and me. It reminded me how lucky I was to have him. That was what was really important.

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**A/N: sorry - I accidentally posted one chapter twice earlier... this is the missed one. :) thanks to people paying attention who let me know!**


	35. Chapter 35

"Have you been trying to conceive long?"

"Yes, I think it's five years now." She looked up and held my gaze with her bright blue eyes.

"I'm sorry … that's a long time."

I didn't know what else to say. She was older than I was, so I'd guessed she might have been trying longer — but it still shocked me a little.

"It's okay. But I can tell you more about it tomorrow. Today's about cheering you up!" She smiled.

We talked a bit more, moving onto lighter topics like TV shows we were enjoying.


	36. Chapter 36

The waitress brought us a blackboard showing the dessert menu.

After a few minutes deliberating, we both decided on the same thing: chocolate fudge cake.

~ 3iaMN ~

I scraped the bowl with my spoon, and savoured the last of the sticky, chocolatey goodness.

"I have to admit, I feel loads better after this,"

"See, I told you! Chocolate solves everything."

"There's not much it can't help with. But thank you, Rose, for being here with me — it's such a relief to talk to someone about all this."

"My pleasure. And I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow!"


	37. Chapter 37

Rose even whipped out her purse and insisted on paying for both lunches, before we said goodbye.

What had seemed so uncertain an hour ago had turned out to be the best thing I'd done in ages, and I was glad I'd acted on impulse. It also meant that tomorrow's arrangement was less scary; only Leah would still be a stranger, and if she was anywhere near as nice as Rose, I'd have no problems.

Content from good food and sympathetic company, I felt ready to face the rest of the afternoon at work. And after that, the weekend beckoned!

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**A/N: more this week, hopefully. :)**


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Thanks to the readers who spotted that I'd posted one chapter twice. It's fixed now, but you might have missed one thing: Rose's husband's name is Royce. Sorry about that.**

* * *

I was surprised to find that there was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen when I got home. According to Edward, I was a complete control freak when it came to the kitchen, so I hadn't been happy when it had looked like a bomb had gone off there after his previous attempts at cooking.

But for once, his timing was perfect — planning a meal had totally slipped my mind tonight.

He was standing at the oven, stirring a pan diligently. Chicken breasts were sizzling in another one.

I giggled, seeing the stripy apron he was wearing. "What's all this?"


	39. Chapter 39

He turned to face me, looking a little worried.

"Is this OK? I wanted to treat you ... I hope you're not annoyed."

Was I really that scary when it came to the kitchen?

As I looked around the room, I remembered just why he was expecting a bad reaction from me. Pans, utensils and a chopping board full of vegetable peelings covered every surface. My usually pristine space looked a complete state. Anxiety started to rise up in my chest, becoming irritation as I wondered why he still hadn't learned to tidy up as he went along._  
_

But when I looked to Edward again, a rush of guilt came over me. He was trying to do something special for me, and here I was getting angry again. I realised how ungrateful I would seem if I complained about the mess, but I honestly couldn't help how it made me feel. My conflicting emotions stopped me from speaking.

"I'll tidy up again, I promise," Edward said, acknowledging the chaos with a sheepish smile.

"You'd better!" I said, waving a finger in a gesture more suited to telling off a naughty kid. Feeling a little ridiculous, I started laughing.

He smiled with relief, seeing he'd escaped more of an argument.

I was still laughing and I could feel the pent-up emotions in me dissipating. I knew he meant well, and as long as he did tidy up later, there was no harm done. In fact, he'd done me a big favour.

"So I'm forgiven?"

"Yes! Edward, it's lovely! I'm sorry if I made you feel like you shouldn't cook for me. I'm glad you decided to risk it tonight ... I could really do with the helping hand."

I'd expected him to ask me why — what was wrong. But he just put the wooden spatula he was holding down and wrapped his arms around me. His musky smell mingled comfortingly with that of the fried chicken. He just held me; I didn't even have to speak. I felt taken over by a contented calm that had been sorely lacking in my day — despite the relief I'd found in talking to Rose. Edward still had the ability to centre me like nobody else could.

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**A/N: Sticking with drabbles but they're getting a little longer now :)**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Sorry for the delay before an update, thanks for your patience :)**

* * *

Finally letting me go, Edward turned back to attend to the food. He turned the gas back up under the frying pan and the chicken resumed its sizzling.

"Did your period start this morning, Bella?" he asked, gently, still facing away from me.

"What? Um … yes it did, how did you know?"

Unlike other months, I hadn't seen it coming myself — I hadn't noticed any of the warning signs I sometimes had, like sore breasts or feeling a bit down. Well, feeling down wasn't such a great identifier now that it was starting to become pretty frequent. So I was surprised that Edward knew.

"I'm sorry … kind of wish I'd got it wrong," he said, turning towards me and rubbing my arm with his free hand. "But you were sort of grouchy, it was a dead giveaway." He sounded faintly amused rather than annoyed.

"I think I'm always grouchy lately," I admitted, impressed that he was observant enough to know one type of bad mood from another. "I'm sorry, I'll try to be better."

"Don't worry, I can take it." He smiled. "I know it's not really aimed at me … and you're really not as bad as you think you are."

"Well, good. but I'm still sorry. And I think things might get a little easier now … meeting Rose was really great. She seems a nice person, and now I have another woman to talk to about it. Shit, I mean, not that you —" I broke off, not meaning to imply that I couldn't talk to _him_.

"It's okay, I get it — I'm not offended, I know you need some extra support … a woman's perspective. I'm so pleased that you found a like mind."

I gave thanks once again that Edward was so understanding. I hoped I hadn't been taking him for granted.


	41. Chapter 41

"It's ready — sit down and I'll bring it through," Edward said.

I went through to the dining room. The lights were low, and several tea-lights flickered on a decorative dark-pink glass dish at the centre of the table. There was a bottle of chilled white wine waiting to be opened.

Edward brought in two plates, set mine in front of me and sat down with his own. He popped the cork on the wine and poured us each a glass.

I noticed he was fidgeting with his hair, a nervous habit of his. I supposed he was worried about my reaction to the meal.

"This is really good," I said after I'd tasted it.

"Really? Oh, I'm so glad!" Edward said, practically glowing from the praise and visibly relaxing.

It was lucky what I'd had for lunch hadn't been too filling; it would have been a shame if he'd done all this and I'd had no appetite.

The chicken wasn't quite as crispy on the outside as I'd have made it, and the potatoes were just marginally underdone, but I wasn't going to vocalise these niggles when he'd gone to the effort of preparing it. On the other hand, the sauce he'd made was great, and the other vegetables were cooked just the way I liked them. It was all really tasty if I stopped analysing so much, and actually, I could enjoy it more because I wasn't the one who'd had to cook it.

I wasn't ready to hand over all the cooking duties quite yet, but perhaps I could learn to be more relaxed about him making the occasional meal, if he was willing.


	42. Chapter 42

As we ate, I told my husband all about my lunch with Rose, and then he told me about his day. He'd had a pretty mundane one at his software programming job, but he was working on something complex at the moment, so I knew it helped him being able to offload to me. I didn't understand many of the technical details about the project, but I listened and commented whenever I could.

After we'd finished our food, Edward stood up and stacked our empty plates to take them away. "I'll just go and fetch dessert — I won't be long." He smiled and went into the kitchen.

If he was struggling with the trying to conceive process too, he didn't show it. But perhaps most of his feelings were bubbling under the surface, because I got the feeling that he was staying strong to support me. Whatever I could do now to talk things through with Rose and Leah would be good for us as a couple as well as good for me, because if I could cope better, then he might be freer to express his own worries.

Maybe I should suggest a dinner all together — the two of us plus Rose and her husband, Royce. I'd tried to convince Edward to discuss things with his male friends a few times, but so far, he'd said there was no need. I hadn't pressed at the time, but I was starting to think that he should really talk to someone too. If they got on together well, perhaps Royce would be a better option than Edward's colleagues and other friends — someone outside his normal circle, with direct experience of the same problems as us. If he was anything like as nice as Rose, he'd be a good person to talk to. But then I remembered her apparent sadness when she was discussing him, and I knew I needed to find out more first.


	43. Chapter 43

"Here you go," Edward said, coming through with our pudding.

"Wow!" My reaction was entirely genuine. "Did you really make these yourself?"

Each mini-tiramisu consisted of neat layers of sponge and cream in a glass, topped with shavings of chocolate. Okay, so it didn't actually involve cooking, but they looked so beautiful and tempting.

"Yes, I did! Well, I admit I had a little help from Emmett." Edward smiled. "He gave me a demonstration on how to prepare it. But these were all my own work."

It tasted divine — the coffee-soaked sponge was generously boozy.

"Wow," I said after another mouthful. "It's so good."

Edward leaned forward and kissed me, the heady taste of coffee and marsala wine mixing deliciously on our tongues.

"Maybe you can even cook for our turn at the dinner date next weekend." This was a monthly gathering we had with Edward's adoptive brothers, Emmett and Jasper. Each brother — or couple — took it in turns to host and cook. When it was our turn, I did the cooking and Edward just helped out.

"I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I don't think I'm ready to cook for five people just yet." He laughed.

"Five? I take it Emmett hasn't met anyone new yet, then?"

"No." Edward's brow creased up in a concerned frown. "He seems to be taking the break-up pretty badly."

"You know I never liked Victoria, but it's still horrible seeing him like that."

"I know. Maybe seeing me trying to cook would actually be a good idea. It'd give Emmett a good laugh!"

He was kidding, but I did hope we could help distract him somehow.

At least when it was next Emmett's turn to host, Victoria being gone wouldn't make a difference. Unlike Edward and Jasper, who relied on his wife Alice to do it for him, Emmett was a really talented cook — hence the pudding-tutelage. Until Victoria's departure, no one outside of the family had been aware of his skill in the kitchen, but with our encouragement, he'd finally invited some of his copper* friends round for a dinner party. They'd had nothing to say but praise; there was none of the teasing he'd expected. Victoria had reinforced his fears, telling him he'd lose his tough reputation at work and become the butt of endless jokes if it became known that he was a budding chef.

Once she'd left him, he'd finally listened to the rest of us and had given it a shot. It had paid off, and afterwards he'd felt like he could be more himself at work; his colleagues had seen a previously hidden side to him and opened up more to him in return. He was still the no-nonsense tough-guy in an interview room or patrolling the streets, but he'd shown he had a softer side and wasn't as one-dimensional as some had assumed. The regular appearance of his baking experiments in the police station was an added bonus.

* * *

* **Copper = British slang for a policeman (cop).**


End file.
